Sexuality: She likes what she likes when she likes them so Pansexual is probably the best descriptor
Type of Poly Practiced: Started out hierarchical but now it’s just based on what her individual relationships are like.
Relationship Status: She took an intentional break from dating for a while but now she is ready to dash out! Slide on into her DMs! <3 (She described herself as the Pringles crumb in the bottom of the can y’all, we cant have that!)
What’s her type: Black, quirky and whatever she wants at the time. She’s open to dating other POCs though, just no white people.
Fun Fact: She used to work at a sex club! It sounded super dope based on how she described it and we definitely have to go there.
We talked about her belief that she was polyam her whole life and her journey from unethical non-monogamy to ethical non-monogamy to polyamory.
As to polyam life in Toronto? The community is not for her, especially because she doesn’t want to date any white people or have any metamours who are white. Canadians are also very conservative and so she mostly ends up connecting with Americans
She decided to share her stories because she was very happy in a relationship and wrote about it on a friend’s blog and it BLEW UP . It wasn’t an intentional thing but she got so much positive feedback that she just ran with it. At this point it’s, of course, intentional but still not strategic. She says that she used to be in her room thinking she was weird and strange so why not say who she is and make someone else comfortable and give people permission to be themselves.
We talked a bit about the issues she is having with her Facebook page being reported for hate speech, FB being a white supremacist platform and how many hateful messages or comments she gets per day
Her best experience in the community is less about her personal dating situation and more about the community as a whole and being open. Being able to unpack love as a black person, knowing and talking about being black and polyamorous and doing that work with other black people is awesome.
What she would tell baby Alicia: Less Shame. “I wish i knew that there’s nothing shameful about loving more than one person.”
How does she usually you date? She is on all the dating apps but she doesn’t think they are for black women. Her most effective dating method is in person conferences and Zoom conferences like Black Poly Pride (she’s had people slide into her DMs from that!) There are a lot of complicated issues with money and access for conferences but she really doesn’t know the best way to meet people who are in line with her politics and understand her culturally etc.
Her PBG email is filled with people from all over the world thinking they were the only one and didn’t know there were others like them! How do we get everyone to get with each other.
Her ideal romantic arrangement? Being with people who love her and give her attention. She wants a lot of babies and believes in community so she just wants to be around people, home school her kids and maybe have chickens and pigs and a farm and just love each other. She does need her own bedroom and she’s open to living with her partners either in a compound or in a large house, whatever her pockets allow.
We also agree that a Black Polyamorous Town would be lit!!!! Let’s pool our money guys
Here is the article Jhen was talking about re: AirBnB